Child Discipline: “No Judgements by Choosing ‘I’ Sentence.”

No Judgements by Choosing “I” Sentence.

Often times, I hear from parents or caregivers,

“Oh, he is so naughty!!! What can I do???”

Oh…

Wait, is it trueth?

Many times, when we use the sentences start with “You,” “He/She,” “It,”  we fall down into our judgements.

“You don’t understand!”

“He is so bad!”

“It’s so good!”

It doesn’t matter if it’s positive nor negative, when somebody uses those sentences, this person is deciding it with his/her judgements.

This person might be following his/her justice.  But, so as the other person too.

His justice is not her juctice. Everybody has different values.

Once he declared his judgements, it is impossible to accept it. The words went outside of himself, so no longer it belongs to him.

Thus, his fight and suffering start.

On the other hand, if he uses sentences start with “I,” it stays within his inside.

“I don’t like what you did!”

“I wonder why you did it?”

“I see, what you did.”

So, “I” sentences can lead him to accept it.

Real accepting starts from awareness for own self.

However, our brain works super hard.  Almost everything we see, we make judgements automatically. So, it’s not easy.

We need to be aware it.

Then, his way to talk to the people will change.  His way to talk to children changes.

With his acceptance, people will start accept him too. Then, he can start talking to the people.

When you visit schools, pay attention how teachers are talking to the children.

“Oh, you are great!”

“Such a good work!”

“You are awesome!”

Those words sound good. But, be aware. Those are full judgements.  Teachers are not the judges. Children have their own values.  Teachers have no right to judge children’s own value.

Using own judgements to manipule children’s mind, doesn’t it sound scary?

If you hear teachers saying,

“Oh, I like how you did it!”

This teacher knows what’s important. She is the one who can truely respect people. Their values.  Children, who they are.

It might be a small thing, but it can really change your life and your child’s life.

Bible talks about ”no judgements.”  So as Buddhism.  I guess it’s something important.  It’s worth to try!

Why not!?

If you wonder, “in whcih case do we use ‘I,’ ‘You,’ ‘He/She,’ and ‘It’?”  Come to my classroom!  You can see it.  We are here for you.

Love!

Teacher Mabo