Children are born in the Mindfullness.

I was talking to a mom, who was struggling to deal “terrible 2, 3.”

Morning separation, wanting something, asking to hold, etc, the child cries a lot…

I’m very sure that every mom in this whole world can visualise this picture in your mind.

Yes, this developmental stage is a tough time for parents.

Usually, I tell parents 3 things.
1. She/he will grow up, and this period of time will end. So, it’s not something keeps going forever. Don’t worry!
2. It’s actually indicating her/his healthy cognitive development.
3. Some effective techniques with understanding of child development.

This time, I told the mom this too.

“Children are living in this moment.  For them, past or future is not something to consider. Right now, here, this moment, that’s all they care. So, they put their everything in this moment.  Of course, it’s tough!!!”

It’s true that the young children’s understanding of time concept, “past, now & future” comes pretty late in their development. When children start understanding the word, “yesterday,” you hear that children overgeneralise all the past as “yesterday.”

“Not past nor future, young children are living in this present moment.”

This is a fact of life.

When I was talking this to the mom, I just realised, “Oh, this is Mindfullness.”

Mindfullness is a way to stay in the present moment.

Grown ups, our sufferings; our worry, fear, anger, envy, jealous, pain, etc, the most of them come from our past or future.  Our brain can think and feel a lot without any stop. As a result, we make our sufferings. We make our worry. So, if we stay and focus on this present moment, actually we can realise how blessed we are.  Grown ups use this technique to stay calm and appreciate what we have now.

So, we can smile.

On the other hand, children are living only in the present moment.

Their pain, their fear, their happiness, it’s all in here, in this moment.

“Mommy is leaving now. Oh, NOOOOO!!!!”

When I hear this child’s cry, I don’t feel anything negative.

I hear her cry saying, “I love Mommy!!! I love Mommy!!! I love Mommy!!!”

Such a sweet, and still sad cry.

When I see her cry, I feel, “うん、うん。 お母さん、好きやんね。　お母さんのこと、大好きやんね。”
（Yes, yes, you like mommy, you love mommy so much.）

Sorry, I used Japanese sentence… This English translation is telling the same meaning as this Japanese sentence, but I can’t feel what I’m feeling from English sentence…

It’s empathy and compassion.

This is how I start my conversation with children by using Lemniscate.

Lemniscate is mathematic… but I use this concept for how I talk to children.

The child’s feeling happens, then, it comes inside of me. It becomes my feeling. Next, my feeling goes back to her inside.

So, when I’m facing to the crying child, naturally my response becomes like this,

“ごめんね…　お母さん、行っちゃって、ごめんね…”
（Sorry…  Mommy left you… Sorry…）

When my feeling went inside of the child, I got this response from her,

“いいよ。〇〇ちゃん、大丈夫だよ。”
(It’s ok. I’m feeling ok.)

Then, she went to play with her friends.

She is smiling now.

Young children are physically and mentally made to face their pain.

Their body is much more flexible (when they are really young, even their bones are soft) & their metabolism is very active. Their hight is low, so the gravity is much less than the hight that grown ups have.  Children are made to fall down. They can get cut, and still it doesn’t become severe issues. They can heal quickly.  Thus, they learn how to balance, how to fall down, and how to stay safe.

Their mind is in the same way.  They are ready to face their mental challenges.  Children are born in the Mindfullness.  They can face their pain, and they can overcome their pain.

At young age, children are learning very important life lessons as a human being.

Our body & our mind, we are made like this.

So,

Please,

Don’t take children’s chance to fall down.

Don’t take children’s chance to face their pain.

They can do it.

…………..

Thank you!!!

Mabo